Forbidden: The Sad Life of Severus Snape
by juneroses
Summary: To escape his overbearing father and estranged mother, Severus Snape befriends a certain redheaded who would certainly change his life forever! However, being Lily Potter's best friend was far more than he had bargained for. Here is his story.
1. Shameless Spy

**Chapter I – _Shameless Spy_**

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. JK Rowling I am not. I am not her immediate family, distant family, unknown family, or her publisher, editor, or associate. I am a fan of her writing and I have used her characters to create this story which was imagined by me. However, I will not ever in my lifetime own or control the Harry Potter series. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer!**

In his feebly humble opinion this particular Monday afternoon could have possibly been the most sweltering day of summer yet. It was humid and the people, mostly the muggles acted strange in this sticky type of weather. He had noticed it in his father who seemed to believe that turning the knob one more notch on the thermostat would relieve him of the mild discomfort of his bare legs sticking to a chair, or the mosquitoes that mischievously made their way into the house. He turned his attention to his subjects – the Berkley family. Mrs. Berkley was in her palest yellow sundress kneeling beside her garden with her eyes focused on a withered plant with a stubborn frown fixated on her long face. The rest of her garden did not appear to be any more fortunate. She held a long snake in her hand and looked thoughtful. Muggles had always puzzled him. He wondered why she needed a snake to tend to her dying plants; a simple aguamenti charm would be effective. Although, he reasoned, that the muggles knew of no such charm the snake would certainly do the plant's health no good.

Mr. Berkley was close by relaxed in a yard chair sipping on a cool drink. His meaty cheeks puffed as he seemed to take larger sips each time. He was sweating profusely which had stained his white shirt a yellowy stingy sort of shade.

The boy calmly ducked out of sight as Mrs. Berkley gazed in his direction. He leaned against the wire fence well aware that he was out of sight. He never understood what thrilled him about spying on muggles; they never did anything very interesting. But yet, he got a rush out of staying hidden and observing their odd behavior. Today was a vaguely interesting day because Mr. Berkley had taken a day off from him job as a plumber. He vaguely wondering what a plumber was but regardless it certainly was a lot more interesting to have the two of them to spy on.

The boy tucked a pesky strand of hair behind his ear. He was eleven years old with long, slick obsidian hair that brushed his shoulders lightly and eyes as black as night. His skin was a moonlit pale although it was looking increasingly more sallow these days. The boy never thought of himself as a handsome. Hell, he hardly considered himself wanted. When people looked upon him it felt as if they were looking at a mirror of his mother. He was a plain child and there wasn't much of anything spectacular about him.

Of course he liked to pretend he was spectacular.

For one important point, he could do one thing a good amount of the population couldn't. He was a wizard, just like his mom had been a witch before him. He was proud of himself for it. It was awesome to think that he could explode things in the air, or turn things to animals, or even apparate! Of course he was too young to be doing any of these things but it never stopped him from thinking of them. Truth be told, at the moment he wasn't any more superior to the unaware family before him, but that wouldn't cloud his daydreams.

Mrs. Berkley twisted the snake's neck and oddly enough, water erupted from the mouth, shocking the boy. He had never seen such an odd looking snake but it seemed implausible for it to be anything else. Of course he could always ask his father about this strange species. He paused and gazed at the healing gash on his arm. Better not…

He looked on.

The woman generously moved the water over the tops of her plants. After several moments he was almost certain that she had drowned them when she proceeded to cease the flow of the liquid by twisting the snake's neck again. He sighed and his eyes focused upon Mr. Berkley who had opened a muggle magazine with stationary pictures. Boring. He felt himself roll his eyes. He had been spying on the couple for several summers now and he felt as if he knew everything there was to know about them. For example, Mrs. Berkley was seven years older than her husband, and Mr. Berkley had a closet addiction to gambling that he kept from his wife. The Berkley's also seemed to enjoy throwing barbeques on hot days like this one. They seemed to invite the biggest and wealthiest of muggles for dreary activities of cricket and crochet.

Suddenly an abrupt chime intermitted his deep thoughts and seemed to catch the attention of Mrs. Berkley who was oblivious to the person standing on her doorstep. She smiled in the general direction of a young redheaded girl.

"Over here dear!" Mrs. Berkley shouted to her.

The young girl spun around and darted towards her with her long locks waving behind her. "Hello Ms. Berkley!" She greeted breathlessly.

"Miss Evans, always a pleasure to see you my dear. What is it you need?"

"A pinch of sugar," she breathed, "for my mother's recipe."

"Only a pinch?" She cackled slightly, "For a dear like you, I'll give your mother an entire cup!"

The girl only laughed, "Thank you."

The boy strangely felt himself joining into their laughter. He stifled it by securing the palm of his hand over his mouth. Was he crazy? He watched her as she greeted Mr. Berkley in the lawn chair. He handed her something… but what? He couldn't see. He moved some branches out of the way in order to peer more closely. A small twig snapped. The girl jumped and her emerald eyes met his general location. Mr. Berkley hooted.

"What's a matter Lily? It's on a squirrel, or a baby swallow." He reassured.

The girl did not flinch, and she took a daunting step towards the bushes. The boy felt his heart do a flip-flop as her eyes scanned the area cautiously. "Has it ever occurred to you that you're being watched?" She asked all too suddenly.

"Watched?" He laughed, "Who would you think would be watching us Miss Evans?"

She paused for a moment to ponder. "Police officers maybe. For suspicious activity?"

He grunted. "You've got nothing to worry about. I've got instincts Lily. Load of 'em. I can sense trouble from miles away. Nobody messes with me."

The boy chuckled softly and muttered under his breath, "You've got about as much instinct as my rattlebrained father."

The red haired girl whisked around again, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"That voice!"

"What voice dear?" Mrs. Berkley asked cheerfully as she emerged from the house with a carefully measured cup of sugar.

The girl quieted as if recollecting herself. She looked thoughtful. "Nothing. It was nothing at all."

At that distinct moment the boy felt himself sigh in the most silent relief possible. The father might have had the senses of a baby baboon but the girl's wits were shockingly sharp for a muggle. For several moments, the boy nearly feared discovery from his carefully contemplated hideaway.

"Tell your mother I said hello then." Mrs. Berkley beamed at her.

"I will." She promised as she clutched the sugar cup in her hand.

"Send your sister my regards too."

"She's at a piano lesson right now or she'd be with me." The girl explained.

Mrs. Berkley squealed, "Oh I had no idea she was learning music. How lovely!"

The girl made a bit of a grunt to suggest indifference.

"What about you? Aren't you learning an instrument?" Mr. Berkley asked her curiously.

"No not really. I never understood the point. It's all a bit boring to me I'm afraid."

"Well at least she's honest." Mr. Berkley said with a laugh that was joined by his wife.

"Run along now Lily. Your mother will be wondering where you are."

She grinned and instinctively hugged Mrs. Berkley who patted her on the head gently. She lingered only a moment to gaze at the bushes suspiciously. After an increasingly uncomfortable minute she began to sprint towards her home with her hand cupped over the top of the sugar. Her red hair raced behind her. The boy's black eyes followed her until she reached the point of only being a speck of nothing in the distance. He broke his trance. She had been the most interesting person to come by all day. He heard Mrs. Berkley comment saying something like, "Charming girl."

A muggle girl… and by the looks of it she was close to his age. After years of lurking the bushes of this village he hadn't noticed any children before. But there were. How had this passed over without his express notice? Not that he was going to make friends with muggle children. That would be beneath him right? Yes it would be. The boy sighed. All in all, he welcomed the change to on spy on someone more energetic, and downright more youthful than the Berkley's. A smile crept to his lips as he thought of the pretty girl. His thoughts clouded when he realized he had no idea where the girl lived. There were many perfect little brick houses like the Berkley's in this village. In fact, most of the elbowing streets were embellished with them. Mrs. Berkley's outrageous garden made her house most distinctive than the others, but that wouldn't solve his problem of how to locate a small muggle girl among rows and crossroads of reproduction brick houses. It was too much to think about.

Why was he so curious about a dumb muggle girl anyway? She'd surely be back around. He breathed in reassurance and noticed a cloud making a bypass in front of the sun. The boy scratched his arm only suddenly aware that it itched. He had been bitten by a mosquito. Nasty buggers. They were like the muggle version of vampires. He sighed again. The Berkley's were laughing about something and he suddenly felt like he wasn't curious enough to find out what it was. He made his way towards the wire fence and began to carefully climb over it again. The fence creaked as it usually did and he suddenly heard Mr. Berkley shout, "Lily?" He looked wary. When he didn't receive his answer he just looked back at his wife and continued talking to her. The boy shrugged and hopped over the fence and began to toddle towards his home on Spinner's End. A brisk wind rushed through his hair and sent it flying in all directions. Annoyed, the boy tried to hold it back with his hands. It wasn't the breeze he was aggravated with. He was mad that he carelessly let a child his own age getaway without thinking to find where she lived. In less than a month (he assured himself) he would be surrounded by friends of his own age, and own kind. One more month of solitude did not seem so bad. He felt a sweat drop roll down his back. He pushed his sleeves up his arms forcefully and unfastened two buttons on his Nehru jacket. Anger rippled through him. Children in the village! Why hadn't he noticed them? A better question… why hadn't they noticed him? _'I'm fun… I could play their games.'_ He thought to himself. _'…I'd be a great friend.'_ A bird cried above him in unintentional empathy. The boy sometimes wished he was an owl, or an animagus. He loved to fantasize about sweeping around the skies of a magical realm sending happy and exciting letters to his future classmates although… he might be a bit too timid for that sort of introduction. Nevertheless after spending a lonely ten years with his overbearing father and estranged mother, he found himself feeling closer and more welcoming to a new life that awaited him at wizarding school.

He threw open the front door carelessly. His mother looked up from a tattered looking book and acknowledged him with as much calamity as her voice could muster. "Oh Severus." There were tears forming behind her eyes and he knew all too quickly what was wrong. Fallen books were scattered across the kitchen.

He tried to look optimistic, "Hi mum."

She gave him a half-hearted sort of hopeless grin; she then struggled to find words as if attempting to make conversation. After a dramatic lapse of silence she finally asked, "H-how are you?"

"Fine," replied Severus.

"And here's our son!" An obnoxious voice spoke from an unimpressive man who stumbled into the room, angry and drunk – a classic combination. Severus had noticed his mother had raised the book in front of her face in sheer disgrace.

"Tell me boy… what have you done today?" He demanded.

Severus looked into his graying gaze trying with extreme difficulty to produce a convincing lie. "I-I read the Hogwarts textbooks mum bought. All of them."

The man's furious eyes lowered into slits. The boy felt an abounding amount of hatred blazing hard back at him. He stepped closer to him casting a tall shadow over him. "You were out watching muggles weren't you?"

It was no use. His father could read his lies as if they were written on a parchment piece that had been conveniently attached to his forehead for reference. He shrunk even shorter than he was and muttered miserably, "Yes sir."

His father smirked wickedly and Severus flinched hoping the worst would soon be over. Instead his father stepped back an inch and glared even harder. "You are a disgrace. Your mother gives you magical abilities and you go and waste them… waste them away to spy on muggles. I-I could tell you about, about the muggles boy. I am one ain't I? Why don't you ask?"

Severus blinked at this odd question. "I don't know."

His father looked increasingly smug, "Naturally… and so, you go and spy on them!"

"Generally." Severus sighed there was no need to deny things now.

"You're like the dysfunctional Little Mermaid that woke up and realized she was a guy."

No response. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

His father was discontented with the silence. "Tell me boy. Why haven't you asked me anything about muggles?"

Severus felt something snap like a rubber band whip inside. "Well gee – maybe it might be due to the fact that the last time I asked you what you wanted for dinner you threw your knife at me." The healing wound on his arm burned in agreement.

"What did you say to me?!" A craze seemed to blacken over the man. He seized his son by his grimy hair and lifted him off the ground. Severus winced as his head throbbed. His mother sank deeper into her book. He could not help it. He could not control it. He could not stand it any longer.

"What are you doing cowering behind that book? Help me; I'm your SON for goodness sakes! Confund him! Stupefy him! Anything mum!" tears began to stream down Severus' face as his mother lowered her shield an inch. The hot tears blurred his vision but he saw enough to know he was fighting more than one battle.

"Who do you think you are you little runt? Don't you dare speak to my wife that way – get some respect!" And with those mighty words he swung the poor boy across the room. Severus unhappily collided with the fireplace and collapsed to the floor sending several books with him. Painful as it may have been, the bump to the head had conveniently become the center of his pain which made it harder to feel Tobias kick him in his stomach, and step on his leg. It would also make his stiff squeaky bed graciously more comfortable tonight. He heard his mother scream. Perhaps his father had stopped kicking him and had moved on to her. Doubtful as it may be, maybe his mother finally took a stand against her domineering muggle husband. Or maybe she had just read a particularly gruesome chapter of her book.

Severus breathed hard as the pain began to locate itself in the proper places. One day… one day… he would be strong. One day he would be one of the strongest. He was sure of it. He'd make it happen while he was at Hogwarts. He'd work hard to learn the most catastrophic of curses and the cruelest ways of magic. He'd work hard to escape this dark, pitiless life or equalize it with the same brutality. A smile crept across his face as if all the weights of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. His father was done with him. In a couple of hours Tobias Snape would pass out carelessly in an easy chair and the house would be at a close peace. The next hours might be bliss. Severus knew that most of his dreams never came to be but optimism, as he had learned… had kept him alive for these eleven years. Only a month to go… thirty days... Excitement pumped through him and he finally mustered the strength to get to his feet again. _'God that smarts.' _He thought. When his eyes focused on his surroundings, he saw his mother gone and his father lying unconscious beside him on the floor. He was stiff as if he had made a clean and hard backward drop. The "petrificus totalus" curse. He felt brighter inside; he couldn't wait to try it. Only so much longer would he have to deal with these muggle beatings. Soon he wouldn't ever feel the pain again. He took a difficult step towards his room, his gut wrenching in pain. Regrettably, tonight would not be that night.

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A/N: _Greetings readers! I'm so happy you took the time to read my fan fiction. I'm as excited to be working on this piece and I hope to get some positive reaction on it. I ask that you stay kind and positive in the early reviews because this is my first attempt at a Harry Potter fan fiction and while I appreciate and encourage constructive criticism I'm also hoping for a general positive response if I can manage it. If you like the story so far, you may want to keep in mind for future reference that this IS loosely, very loosely based on all seven books (yes including Deathly Hallows) but it is the back story of Severus Snape which was guesswork and imagination of mine. I know Snape currently seems a bit out of character in this chapter but I am writing it from the mind and behavior of a child and most of us would agree that Severus Snape was not always the cruel and emotionless bloke we all know him for. In case you haven't picked it up, the fiction will be Lily/Snape although it's a lot more realistic. But you'll have to see. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and don't forget to review!!!!_


	2. Soap Suds

**Chapter II – **_**Soap Suds**_

**Disclaimer:**** I am not JK Rowling. JK Rowling I am not. I am not her immediate family, distant family, unknown family, or her publisher, editor, or associate. I am a fan of her writing and I have used her characters to create this story which was imagined by me. However, I will not ever in my lifetime own or control the Harry Potter series. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer! **

The beast of the night was rushing. Severus looked up at the swirling gray clouds in the sky. The moon wasn't present tonight; there were only tiny fragments of glittering stars. A bitter breeze caught him and Severus did his best not to shudder. The roads of Spinner's end were always eerie; however it seemed increasingly ghostly tonight. The street he was standing in extended in front of him like an empty hall, the trees analogous nameless portraits. Severus took a moment to take in his moment of solitude when something moved in the distance. He was immediately alert. A stranger was slowly approaching him.

"Who's there?" He asked sharply.

The only answer Severus received came from a screaming owl above. The moment of peace was stolen. Ah well, good things came in short bursts. But still… the figure… it persisted.

"Who are you?" He asked again a bit spooked.

The silent visitor slowly emerged into the light. It was the muggle girl. Equal parts of relief and delight washed through Severus' body.

"Lily…" He was surprised he remembered her name. _No scratch that_. He was horrified. Now the girl would think he was some weird stalker which… in a way… he might have been but that wasn't the point. He didn't want to scare her off. How on earth was he going to get away with this slip up? How could he explain knowing the girl before she had introduced herself?

But Lily made no indication that she was offended by Severus. In fact, she made little suggestion that she had heard what he had said. She bore a simple warm and peaceful smile and the depths of her eyes suggested evident absence.

"Um… hello." He tried again. But the girl's eyes remained emotionless as ever. Severus began to feel frustrated.

"Stop playing games! I know you hear me!" He insisted. Severus recessed his fury, ashamed of his outburst. He watched her face desperately. To his astonishment she opened her two arms as if to welcome a warm embrace. Severus was bewildered. How odd… there was no one else here… She must be holding her arms out for him. Was this real? Severus wasted no time and moved towards her with his arms outstretched in the same manner. She did not draw back. Color flooded to his face. He was overjoyed. For the first time in his life, he was about to experience the warmth and love that he had craved. This stranger, this muggle girl, was about to envelope him in her arms and show him the affection that had been denied to him for eleven long years. He moved close to her and her arms closed around him. Severus promptly felt more at ease than he had ever been before in the arms of this girl.

But there was something wrong… he didn't feel the heat of her breath. He couldn't feel her arms around his neck. He couldn't sense the temperature of her body at all. He was barely even aware of her. Severus opened his eyes. His charcoal eyes met her emerald ones. Her eyes reflected the same happiness from moments ago. '_Lily….'_

He tightened his grasp around her waist. Much to his puzzlement, he more than ever did not feel the closeness of her body. He could still feel the cool whips of the air against his neck. He glimpsed at the girl and his insides screamed. What he saw was madness before him. It was unlike anything he had seen. The girl was vanishing in front of him although she was far too young to apparate. Her invisible arms were wrapped around his solid neck. He could see the continuation of the road extending through her thoroughly transparent body.

"What's happening to you?!" He shouted at her as the color drained from his face. He was no longer in bliss, he was petrified. She was more silent than ever. He tried to draw away from her, frightened by the ghostly image of her face. His feet would not budge. A golden chain was wrapping rapidly around them. He had failed to notice that it had already coiled around their ankles four times and was extending up their entwined bodies.

"Help! Help!" Severus cried realizing that he was by no means with the muggle girl he mistook her for. He could not move as the golden chain wrapped faster around them pulling the ghost into him. He got a got a glance at a golden sphere charm before it whisked out of sight to coil around them again and again. There was no escape; the chain was almost at his neck and it would surely suffocate them. He twisted in every direction he could. It was hopeless. He gazed at Lily whose eyes had horrifically seemed to have rolled backward into her nonexistent scull. Her entire body and head was transparent at this point. Severus choked as the chain choked the air from him, "Lily! Lily!" He screamed.

Severus Snape felt his breath return to him in a sudden jerk. He opened his eyes. He was in his room, in bed, with the sound of rain beating down on the roof. Pain surged to his head but he breathed in relief. It was only a nightmare. He looked around to make sure. His dreary book covered bedroom looked the same. His slacks were on the floor where he had left them before going to bed. The moon was casting a beautiful white light through his spherical window.

It was not morning but Severus could no longer stay in bed. He pushed his door open with great heed and receded at its squeaking point. He could hear snoring from below. His father had obviously recovered from the curse and found a chair to fall asleep in. Severus would not be the one to wake him today. In fact, he would not be in the house when Tobias Snape awoke. He would be far, far from his father who might harbor resentful feelings from the previous day. All in all, he decided the risk wasn't worth it. Where to go? There were dozens of muggles he could spy on. There was the Marcellus family, the big and friendly Italian family with six children, already grown up, and thirty nine cousins. There was hardly a dull moment when he spied on them. There were Judy and Mark Appleby, a married couple and the owners of the nearby textile mill. Their eldest son Zachary ran away from home two years ago to get married and Judy had just recently been blessed with another pregnancy. He couldn't forget Ellowin Dwyre either. She was the oddest of all the muggles. Every time Severus went to visit Ellowin she was lying in bed feeling too sick to move, or too upset to leave the house. She was so pale that Severus sometimes wondered if she had even seen daylight in her lifetime. Every morning her caretaker, Martha, would stop by and make her breakfast in bed, and they would chat. Eventually Severus concluded that Ellowin confined herself to the familiarities of her home after her husband left her six years ago. The rants and sad tales of Ellowin Dwyre never grew old but Severus was at this time, uninterested. In fact… the only family he wanted to see was the Berkley family.

'_Perhaps… perhaps she might come back…'_

It was still an ungodly hour in the morning and the stars were far from the point of fading in the sky. Severus did not mind it. In fact, he felt most relaxed in the dark. It made him even _more _difficult to distinguish. Before he left he found the tattered jacket his mother had given him three years ago. It was long sleeved and hoodless, and although it wouldn't be able to keep the rain off of his head, it would be enough to withstand the icy winds he had dreamt about only moments ago. He took a minute to look over the bookshelf. He was thoughtful before picking a very personal choice of book. It was a thick leather bound book. The cover was deep forest green. It was by no doubt, time-worn. Eileen's magic charms were not only keeping it fastened at the spine, they also enchanted the book, and encased in an impressive emerald glow. He held the book in his hands. It would kill time.

It took Severus a while to traverse the distance between his home on Spinner's end to the Berkley's home in the textile village. As he walked Severus felt the vestiges of the storm he had awoken to, a rather pleasant mist was falling from the foggy sky. He held the book to his chest to keep it dry but was unbothered. It felt and seemed like it would clear up today. Perhaps it would be one of those after-storm days that always produced the lovely strips of rainbows in the street puddles.

When he reached his destination Severus found the familiar oak tree located near his infamous bush hideaway. Having done this many times before, Severus climbed the tree enough to be a couple inches from the ground. He settled himself onto a particularly thick branch, his backside becoming a bit damp. He did not mind it. Thoughtfully, he opened his book and rescued a black ballpoint pen from his pockets.

_August 4__th__, 1971_

_Dear Journal,_

_What can I say about my summer so far? It's been thoroughly uneventful as you might expect. I've done quite a bit of spying on the muggle village. From Ellowin's tireless rants about the evils of men, and Judy Appleby expecting a baby next year, I can confidently tell you that the most exciting occurrence of my summer happened, oddly enough, yesterday while I was spying on the Berkley's. There I was, in my usual spot, behind the bushes. Allison and Ben weren't being very interesting, in fact, their behavior was a rather bore when all of a sudden out of the blue, this girl, this muggle girl with red hair came by to borrow a cup of sugar from Mrs. Berkley. She seemed like a really sweet little girl but it shocked me to actually see one. I've never spotted anyone my own age journal. That might be why I'm so used to being alone… I couldn't have friends even if I wanted them. But oh boy, if I knew there were other children like her in the textile village then I'd conform so contentedly. I'm pretty angry at myself because I didn't look to see where she lived. I'm hoping that maybe… just maybe she might come visit the Berkley's again before I head off for Hogwarts. From the sound of their conversation it sounded as if Lily (that's her name) had visited them several times before. I really, really, really want to see her again. I hope I do._

_After I came home yesterday, the rest of the night went wrong again. My dad was angry at my mom and they argued earlier that day. When I came home, Dad was drunk… and of course angry at mom for something stupid. We had a row and he beat me. It was my fault this time – I back-talked. I'm not sorry for what I said though. In fact I have a few more choice words I'd like to call my father. I know it's wrong to disrespect my father but I can't help it journal. I hate him! I hate him because he hurts mom and I hate him because he hurts me. Family shouldn't be this way. I watch families' everyday from the security and secrecy of the thickest bushes I can find. I've never seen anyone yell like Dad does and I haven't ever seen someone get hurt. Why is my family the exception? Why is our house so dysfunctional? I wish… I wish… I don't even know. I just wish September would hurry up and get here already._

_Yours,_

_-Severus_

Severus took a moment to look over his scribbled handwriting on the page. He was surprised to see that he had filled three of the pages in his journal. He smiled as it glowed a bit more brightly. He loved his journal. Long ago, his mother had put enchantments on it to protect it from his father's eyes, and anyone else for that matter! It was his one true escape. He could pour his heart onto these pages. He could write the cruelest things in the world. The messages would never get away. He admired the sky. It was clearer and brighter now, the day had broken and the sun had emerged midways through his intensive writing. It was still misting outside but it had lightened in quantity considerable. Severus looked at his hair; little white moisture beads clung to his long tresses. Every now and then a larger droplet would descend from the treetop and land abruptly on his head. It wasn't a beautiful day but at least it wasn't a creepy night.

Severus passed the time by rerunning yesterday in his mind over and over again. It ran in a move playback mode and he felt a bit exultant every time he envisioned Lily say, "A pinch of sugar for my mother's recipe."

_'That dream was strange.' _Severus thought as he wiped the fallen drizzle from his journal cover. Oddly, Severus could never remember any of his dreams. They weren't significant enough. _'It was really scary. I wonder what it means… it probably doesn't mean anything, dreams rarely do. I doubt mine would. I wonder if that Lily girl is a ghost?' _He paused to consider the awful prospect. He shook his head. No that was silly. If she had been a ghost he would have surely noticed. Her ghostly dream form was purely a mental composition.

"Good morning girls! It's good to see you!" Severus' attention shot over to the direction of the voice where he saw Mrs. Berkley standing in her terrycloth robe smiling at two little girls in identical rain jackets and boots. They were sharing a yellow flowered umbrella.

"Hi Mrs. Berkley," said Lily, the taller of the two.

The other girl chirped, "Our mother told us to return your sugar cup to you!"

"Yeah and she says thank you!" Lily chimed in.

Mrs. Berkley looked pleased, "Well I'm glad I was able to help. What sort of recipe was it for?"

"Blueberry pie!" They exclaimed together with a chorus of laughter following.

"How'd it turn out?"

"It was delicious," Lily said enthusiastically, "I had two whole pieces!"

"My! And you're still the skinniest little girls I've ever seen!"

The other girl looked affronted, "Mom says we look healthy."

"Indeed you do. I predict that you – both of you, will be heartbreakers in a few years. You'll be a rare catch. There aren't enough girls like you out there for the men of the world. Choose carefully."

The sister looked embarrassed, "I don't think so."

Mrs. Berkley laughed, "Don't think so? My dear, your blonde hair will be all the boys will talk about! And Lily! Her green eyes, they've got to be the greenest I've ever seen."

Lily fidgeted with her hands, "Mom always calls them the 'family mystery' 'cause no one can figure out where I got them from. Everyone else has brown eyes."

"Be glad to be a little different then. Listen girls, I'm going to let you head back now because I need to have Ben's coffee and breakfast out in a few minutes. It was lovely to see you."

"My mother wanted to have you for dinner on Friday. We're having a party." The blonde said.

"A party?" Mrs. Berkley asked, "What's the occasion?"

"Lily starts middle school." The blonde girl informed her with a hint of excitement hidden in her voice.

"Oh but you'll be in the same school! That's wonderful Petunia!" She said with a gleeful beam.

The blonde girl spoke no words but her roseate face told Severus all he needed to know about her feelings on the subject.

"Come on Tuney, let's go home. It might start raining harder!"

Wrong as the muggle girl might have been about the probable outcome of the weather, Severus perked up in his place. This time he would follow them.

"I'll talk with Ben about Friday and call your mother sometime tonight." Mrs. Berkley assured the girls who were already midway across the lawn with their arms waving happily back at her.

"Goodbye Mrs. Berkley!" Petunia cried over the misting sky.

Severus was already climbing down from the oak tree. One-armed he clutched his journal in the other. He intentionally found himself throwing many hasty watches at Lily wondering if she would notice him again. She didn't. She was far too wrapped in conversation with her sister.

"Mom bought me a new sweater for school. It's blue, my favorite color." Lily informed her sister.

Petunia frowned, "Blue can't be your favorite color Lily!"

Lily looked disappointed. "Why?"

"Because blue is my favorite color!" The sister exclaimed indicating her blue rain boots.

"So?"

"So we're sisters! We can't have the same favorite color! _Besides…_ I had it first. What about pink? Pink is a nice color."

Lily wrinkled her nose, "No I still like blue."

"Or green? What about green? Green is the color of the grass, the color of leaves, the color of your…"

"I still like blue best." Lily said firmly before Petunia could finish her sentence. This remark seemed to silence Petunia momentarily. Her eyes met the road they walked. Lily seemed to take the moment of peace as an opportunity to think. As she huddled underneath the umbrella her sister held, she twisted her hands furtively.

"Stop that!" Petunia hissed all of a sudden.

Lily looked confused. "Stop what?"

Petunia groaned and stared at her sister's hands. "_That_!"

Lily ceased the behavior obediently. Another moment of silence passed when Lily abruptly said, "Rainbows."

"What?"

Lily smiled, "I think my favorite color is rainbow. What on earth could be prettier than all the colors put together?"

Petunia smirked, "Putting all the colors together doesn't make a rainbow. I mixed my water color paints together once – all I got was brown." She laughed but Lily only rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I mean Tuney."

Severus extracted his foot from a mud puddle he walked into while distracted. He continued moving but suddenly whisked around and did a double-take. A thin strip of rainbow was shining in the puddle of mud.

"Still…" The sister said thoughtfully, "It's too bad we couldn't go to the park today. Mom will never let us go in this weather you know."

Lily nodded in agreement.

"What do you want to do today?" Petunia asked.

Lily only shrugged as the two of them turned into the house, "Dunno… play dolls?"

From the revolted look on Petunia's face Severus would have gathered that Lily wanted to play with voodoo dolls. "_Dolls_? Oh Lily… you must think we're a bit old now."

"No not at all I…" Severus did not near the rest of her sentence as the door closed behind her. He grumbled and carefully exposed himself from behind the tree he had watchfully concealed himself behind. He hurried over to the windowsill where he lowered himself into a crouched position where only the level of his eyes looked through the glass.

Petunia had removed her rain gear and seemed to be removing what appeared to be dolls from a toy box. Severus caught a tiny smile etched on her horse-like face. Despite them being sisters, the two shared very little in their appearance. Severus gazed over the scene trying to locate Lily who was nowhere to be found. He frowned and slyly made his way over to another window. A flash of crimson told him that he had found the correct room. Lily was alone in the room doing a seemingly less pleasurable activity than her elder sister. The younger sister was hunched over the sink scrubbing at a plate with a sponge with a look of boredom in her green eyes. She turned to look around and Severus immediately dropped to his knees, losing the scene with it. He hugged his knees praying silently that she would not look out the window. After several moments had passed he began to wonder if he should continue observing her again. Would he meet those green eyes and frighten her? His heartbeat grew stronger and began to move into his throat. _'Okay,'_ he thought, _'On the count of three. One… two…'_

Severus raised his head to peer through the window again and blinked when his eyes focused on the scene before him. The muggle girl was amusedly conducting what appeared to be a tornado of bubbles that spiraled around her and the dishes that floated seamlessly through the air. Severus blinked again. Was he imagining this? A multicolored bubble landed on Lily's nose and she giggled soundlessly. No… he definitely was not imagining this. He could not believe it. It could not really be true. Lily Evans… a _muggle_ girl… the girl he had only seen yesterday… was a witch.

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A/N: _I hope you enjoyed the second chapter! I'm glad I was able to give you such a long update! Reviews are always appreciated! ._


	3. The Trouble with Witches

**Chapter III – **_**The Trouble with Witches**_

**Disclaimer:**** I am not JK Rowling. JK Rowling I am not. I am not her immediate family, distant family, unknown family, or her publisher, editor, or associate. I am a fan of her writing and I have used her characters to create this story which was imagined by me. However, I will not ever in my lifetime own or control the Harry Potter series. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer! **

For the remainder of the week Severus remained at the Evan's home keeping a watchful eye on the redheaded muggle girl. It took an entire week for Severus to conclude that Lily Evans was not only able to do magic – she was gifted in her ability. Severus was captivated when he watched her fold her clothes with idle hands. The magic efficiently lifted them into the air and dropped them simply into the basket. What fascinated him more was that Lily seemed aware that she was different. She seemed to make sure that all her magic was done in her solitary presence. Pity she was unaware she was being examined so closely although Severus did catch her doing the occasional double-take.

Lily Evans had a (from what he observed) tenderly relationship and inseperatable bond with her family, in particular her elder sister. Her parents, kind-faced and a gentle type of muggle seemed charmed by their youngest daughter but also increasingly concerned by her sometimes profound aloofness. Severus was certain they knew nothing of her abilities. Severus wondered himself if she was the only one who knew. He empathized. He could not imagine the loneliness of the lifestyle. Did the magical realm know of her existence? Was her name down on a list at Hogwarts or another magical school? It would be a rather shame for her to live her entire life knowing nothing of the wizarding world or the extent she could take her talents. Severus on the occasion felt tempted to show her his magic. With the little he had learned from his mother and the vast he had discovered from books he could surely show her an impressive spell or two.

Severus was surprised that he had not returned to visit any of the other muggle families this week. The Evans' had been far too intriguing. The dinner with Mrs. Berkley was casual and comforting. Even Severus felt warm from the far misty window he spied on them from. Thought it was sometimes difficult to hear, he could from time to time manage to hear a bit of their discussion. Interestingly, and oddly Mrs. Berkley was a former college of Mrs. Evans. The two were old friends. Although the Berkley's had no children, Mrs. Berkley had grown to accept and consider Lily and Petunia as her own family. He had never heard her say so but this could be justified simply by their interactions.

Today Severus found himself at the old and corroded muggle playground. The sky was lit with bright sun that cast the massive shadows of the treetops. But Severus was too distracted behind his cluster of bushes to notice the shadows. Between the green haze he keenly watched the muggle witch and her sister play innocently on the playground. The parents were not present at the playground scene but the two had nothing to fear as they were quite alone. He watched Lily dreamily as she soared seamlessly through the air after jumping off her swing despite the desperate protesting of her elder sister. Her red hair sailed behind her like a flag and she landed on her feet perfectly.

"Lily that's so dangerous! How can you do that? You could get hurt!" Petunia yelled at her. She stopped her swing with her feet like she was supposed to.

"Tuney I'm fine. I landed just fine." She brushed a strand of her windblown hair out of her evergreen eyes.

"It doesn't matter!" Petunia said cross as ever, "Mommy said it was too dangerous to jump like that."

"Fine I won't do it anymore if it makes you happy."

"Thank you." She looked pleased.

But Lily had paid no attention. She was making her way over to the potentilla shrub several feet from where Severus was hidden. Severus felt his face growing hot. Was he about to be exposed? He backed away from her nervously. He was sweating. The girl had several times this week detected his company. Was she about to confirm it? He pleaded in his silence but was relieved when Lily retrieved a white blossom from the grass and brought it over to her sister.

"Tuney, look, I've got a trick to show you." She grinned ear to ear as she held the near crushed blossom in her fist.

Petunia looked indifferent. After vacillating she finally said, "Show me."

Lily opened her hand and her sister's lips parted somewhat as the white flower began to open and close in her tiny hand. Lily's face was relaxed. The magic after all came naturally.

"But how?"

"I don't know. I just did it." Lily answered as the flower stopped moving and remained stationary once more. She looked apprehensive as if waiting for encouragement. When none came Lily held the flower out to her sister. "You try." She insisted.

Petunia took the flower between her two fingers and stared at it in skepticism. "There's a trick right? A puppet string or a remote control?"

Lily giggled but said all too seriously, "Of course not. Just think about it."

Petunia braced herself as if putting all of her twelve year old mentality into the task at hand. When the flower remained motionless and dull Petunia grew irritated.

"Tell me how you did it." She demanded of her sister.

"I don't know it just –"

"I know why!" Severus shouted excitedly as he temporarily suspended the disagreement between the two sisters by popping out of the bushes. They both stared at him shocked with wide eyes. Severus had wide eyes himself. He had no idea what had persuaded him to expose himself to the two girls. Mortified, his cheeks flushed.

"Who are you?!" Petunia ordered as she took a menacing step towards their guest. Petunia… as he had learned seemed to consider it her sole responsibility to protect Lily.

Severus bowed his head about to introduce himself properly when Lily interjected. "Wait..." she spoke inquisitively, "why?"

Severus braced himself and the answer seemed to erupt like lava from him. He had completely elapsed the detail that he stood before two plain and innocent muggle children. "You're a witch!" He exclaimed.

Lily's face whitened at the remark. She looked from Severus' melanoid eyes to her sister who she noted was rising in color. She glanced at Severus again, her curious eyes changed to slits. "That's not very nice!" She glared at him indignantly before cupping her sister's hand in her own.

"Let's go Lily." Petunia said. She stuck her tongue out at the disgusting boy furiously.

Lily did not object. With one last defiant stare, she skipped off with her sister and Severus did not stop them again. He sunk back into the potentilla bush humiliated. He felt like he could cry, but no tears came. He looked up to the sunny sky. Perhaps it was time for him to return home… after all his parents hadn't seen him all week. Who did he think he was kidding anyway? He was no use to his family, so what use would he be to anyone else? It was foolish to think that Lily would befriend him, especially after frightening her like that. She probably had loads of better things to do than to pal around with his pathetic self. He sighed and resiliently scooped up his beloved journal in his arms and sulked all the way home.

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A/N: _I know this chapter was a bit short but there's a lot more to happen in the next one! I told you that this would loosely be based on DH so I gave my own artistic interpretation on what happened in the Prince's Tale. I know it's a bit different and I'm no Jo but I do hope everyone liked it none the less. _


	4. Fancy Meeting You Here

**Chapter IV – **_**Fancy Meeting You Here**_

**Disclaimer:**** I am not JK Rowling. JK Rowling I am not. I am not her immediate family, distant family, unknown family, or her publisher, editor, or associate. I am a fan of her writing and I have used her characters to create this story which was imagined by me. However, I will not ever in my lifetime own or control the Harry Potter series. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer! **

Severus only needed to stay home for ten minutes before he found himself on the street again walking towards the Evans' home. It had only taken a second for his blazed father to stagger familiarly into the family room. His mother was in the other room boiling a boot. Sometimes he never dared to ask. The entire house smelt of burnt rubber and Tobias seemed to feel that the situation was entirely Severus' fault. Severus escaped as quickly and easily as he could.

He perched on a distant tree. He was disappointed to see that only Petunia was in view. She seemed to be hiding her things in the backyard. She carried armfuls of dolls and other treasures to an ordinary looking shed. He sighed and sauntered towards her. There was no use in hiding now.

"Hey!"

The blonde girl whisked around and jumped back about ten feet. "What are you doing here?!" She shrieked. Her eyes seemed to be bulging from her skull.

"I-I I am… that is…" Severus couldn't seem to find the words.

She wrinkled her face. "I don't like you." She informed him. Severus was not offended. He was well aware of this detail.

"Listen," He said finding his voice at last, "about today… can you tell your sister, tell Lily, that I'm sorry?" His eyes shone with hope.

She shook her head. "No I don't think I can."

Severus stomped his foot in frustration. "Well why not?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?"

Severus looked at her puzzled.The sister groaned.

"I said I don't like you." She repeated back to him.

"I know." He said simply. "But can you tell her anyway?"

"No." Petunia refused. Severus suddenly felt desperate.

"I-if you don't give her m-my apology I'll curse you! Or worse! I'll take your hidden toys!" He threatened her. His entire body was shaking at this point.

Petunia howled in maddened laughter. She seemed to have regained some type of confidence. She put her hands on her hips in a very domineering sort of way. "Now you listen to me mister-whoever-you-are! I'm telling you to get away from me, NOW! If you don't I'll get my mommy! And my mommy will get the police! Go away!"

Without much of a protest Severus glumly nodded and marched away from the scene hanging his head. He looked back at Petunia who looked triumphant. Lily was nowhere to be seen.

After a long battling and combative night, Severus had finally retired to his room after explaining to his paranoid mother where he had been for the past week. He however, got not elucidation on her sudden desire to boil a boot. The house still reeked of it. The boot laid, fully cooked and boiled, on the kitchen floor uselessly.

After several days of sleeping on protruding roots and bark ridden tree trunks, Severus found himself glad to be back in his own little bed. Sure… his feet stuck on the end and there was a spring sticking through the mattress that dug into his flesh, but it was a bed. The only bed he had ever had in life. His mother had told him that it was Tobias' bed before him. That explained it.

Still, despite an extremely welcoming bed he found himself struggling to fall asleep. Moments of darkness and blankness would catch him and as he tried to seize the moment of peace his thoughts would catch him again.

_'Perhaps I ought to just wait for Hogwarts. Her magic may not seem like anything at all when I see all the purebloods in action.'_

_'Severus! You know she's brilliant. You saw her work her magic, she can make the entire world work for her mind!'_

_'Maybe she doesn't quite hate me after all. I mean… she was angry. Most likely pissed off, but hate me? I don't know. She just doesn't like me… if I could only…'_

_'Stop kidding yourself you worthless bloke. She thinks you're a waste of life; she won't speak to you ever again. You blew it. You blew it big time Severus.'_

Just as his thoughts were about to disagree again, a small pebble hit his dust ridden window with a short PLOCK sound. He spun around hastily looking for the source of the noise. He prayed the noise would cease. Waking Tobias Snape was like waking a sleeping dragon – risky. Another pebble hit the window. Then bigger ones followed.

PLOCK!

PLOCK!

PLOCK!

Severus rushed to the windowsill only to see the very source of his uncontrollable thoughts tossing the pebbles at the window. She paused as she caught him looking back at her. She backed away from the spot a considerable amount. Was she mad?!

Severus rushed down to meet her careful to avoid his father sleeping in the easy chair. He opened the door, cautious not to squeak and he rushed to Lily breathless and unsure of what to say or make of this. After an uncomfortable moment, she began to look nervous as if regretting her decision to come. Suddenly a thought braced him. What if she had come to hear him apologize?

"I'm sorry." He said breaking the stillness. She nodded with her green eyes examining his pale, pasty face.

"Thanks. I'm sorry too. You scared me is all."

"I'm sorry."

"You've said that already." She pointed out. He sighed.

"Is it true?"

Severus was dumbstruck. "Is what true?"

"The wizards and witches…" Lily appeared unsure and confused.

"It's true." Severus assured her. Lily's expression looked relieved and mildly concerned at the same time.

"I've never met anyone besides me who can do magic." She told him.

"I know… I know… I've been watching you. There's a whole world of wizards and witches out there that you don't know about."

"I feel really gullible right now." She confessed. Severus could only laugh.

"Don't worry. Look." Severus let a small green leaf zoom into the palm of his hand. He held it out to her as it hovered in midair. She gasped.

"Amazing!" She exclaimed as she sent a different leaf whirling in her direction. It circled around her like a human halo. She gazed at him, her eyes wide in admiration. "So what does it mean?"

Severus scoffed, "What do you think it means?"

"I don't know." Lily answered honestly.

Severus was grinning ear to ear prepared to enlighten her, "It means – that you are going to be part of a whole new world. A magic world."

Lily was drinking in every word he told her. "A magic world," Her eyes sparkled. "Like in fairy tale books?"

"Better. It's real Lily. We're two of thousands and thousands of magical beings." Severus told her excitingly.

"When you say beings…"

"All kinds," He answered, "There are witches, wizards, phoenixes, boggarts, centaurs, doxies, pixies, dragons, unicorns, dwarfs, gnomes, and elves, and fairies, and ghouls and…"

"Did you say unicorns?" Lily asked cutting him short. Severus nodded. She sighed dreamily. "Wow."

"And it all starts at Hogwarts." Severus continued not minding her interruption in the slightest.

Lily tilted her head, "Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, it's a magical school, for kids like us who do magic. They teach us how to control it. They teach you how to use a wand." Severus explained.

"A wand?" Lily repeated. Severus nodded again waiting for her approval but instead she looked skeptical. She looked at his face as if determined to reveal something. "I don't know… a magical school? Surely I would have heard of it. Wouldn't I?"

Severus shook his head, "No you're muggle-born."

"I'm a what?"

"A _muggle_-born," Severus said annunciating the word, "a witch born to non-magical humans. Muggles are people who can't use magic. There are loads of them where you live. They know nothing of our world, and if you weren't doing that little trick with that leaf… neither would you."

The leaf spiraling around Lily now fell limply to the ground. Her eyes considered his. "Am I quite sure – " Lily started, "that this isn't some cruel joke? Perhaps we can do magic yes, but perhaps we're the only ones. Perhaps we're freaks. I haven't seen anyone like me!"

"I… I wouldn't want to trick you." Severus said quietly.

Lily looked frenzied, "Well how can I be sure? You haven't even introduced yourself!"

So he hadn't. Severus smiled again, "I'm Severus Snape. You have nothing to worry about with me."

"With you?" Lily studied his expression once again. Her frown lifted, "You mean like friends?"

"Friends…" This was not a word to which he was accustomed. He had never had friends. He tried to conceal the happiness that pumped into his veins. "Yes I mean like friends." He said.

Lily smiled. "Okay then Severus I'm trusting you. Tell me about Hogwarts."

Severus touched her arm and motioned for her to sit. The two sat Indian-style in the middle of the deserted dirt road. But one question was burning inside Severus that he needed answered, "How did you find me?"

Lily flushed red in the pale moonlight, "Lucky guess. I just followed my gut."

Severus was taken aback, "Your magic is _really_ strong."

"You think?"

Severus nodded, "You've got loads of magic. Loads of it."

Lily folded her hands prettily and fixed her eyes on Severus patiently.

"Oh right," He said, "Hogwarts… well… it was established thousands of years ago. There were four founders… Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and _Salazar Slytherin_." He emphasized the last name with noted affection.

Lily nodded obviously taking this information very seriously, "Go on."

"Well the four founders created four houses. All students at Hogwarts are sorted into a house by the sorting hat. It usually bases decisions on characteristics, personality traits and flaws, intelligence, talents, abilities, interests… things like that. Once you're sorted you sort of become a patron to your house. Your schoolwork, achievements, and failures all reflect the status of your house. At the end of the year points are added up in each house and one house is the winner."

"So it's a competitive school…" Lily said catching on.

"Yeah," Severus concurred, "but it's a lot of fun. And there's other fun things like Quidditch – that's a wizarding sport and just exploring the castle. It's supposed to be huge! According to my mum's book… there are supposedly passageways that haven't been discovered by anyone!"

Lily was surprised. "But isn't the building thousands of years old?"

Severus nodded, "but I have no time for Quidditch or exploring. I've got more important things to do. You see… I want to be the strongest wizard I can be. I want to be really powerful. I've already started reading."

"Wow you're really ambitious." Lily perceived.

"I've been looking forward to Hogwarts for years." Severus said. Lily watched him gaze at the cloudy sky as if suddenly deeply obscured in a dream.

"Severus?"

His momentary contact to the starry sky was stolen. He reverted his attention again. "Yes?"

"Do you think…" she seemed to struggle with the question, "do you really think they'll put me in Hogwarts? It seems too good to be true."

To her surprise (and his own) he took her hands and reassured her. "Of course they'll take you. There's no reason for them not to. You've probably been down in their books since before you could talk. You'll get a letter, a real letter. I promise."

Lily bit her lip as she weighed the possibility. She seemed to trust him at last. "Alright."

Severus released her hands and realized he had no more to say to her. Lily seemed to have realized the same because she finally stood up and said, "It's late."

"No," said Severus pointedly, "It's early." He rose to his own feet.

Lily cupped her hand on his shoulder, "Thanks for talking to me tonight Severus. I'm going to go home now kay?"

Severus nodded and suddenly felt an obstructive lump in his throat. She turned to leave and he quickly cleared his throat and nearly shouted at her, "I'm glad we're friends!"

'_Glad you're friends? If you sound any more pathetic you'll be deflated.'_

To anyone's surprise Lily turned around and laughed, "I'm glad too Severus."

He watched Lily Evans run home with her flaming red hair dancing behind her in pretty waves. He watched her until she became a blotchy, unidentified shadow. His first friend. His very first real friend. How would he sleep now?

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A/N: _Please review!!! It's your kind comments that keep this rolling!_


	5. Lily's Eyes

**Chapter V – **_**Lily's Eyes**_

**Disclaimer:**** I am not JK Rowling. JK Rowling I am not. I am not her immediate family, distant family, unknown family, or her publisher, editor, or associate. I am a fan of her writing and I have used her characters to create this story which was imagined by me. However, I will not ever in my lifetime own or control the Harry Potter series. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer! **

July had long gone and the long breezy August days had arrived. Much to the surprise of the muggles, the weather had cooled considerably quickly. Severus however, had noticed little difference except maybe for the fact that his smock clothing was no longer drenched in humidity sweat. His hair appeared more greasy than usual due to the fact that his mother was using a vast amount of their bathing water for boiling other strange commodities. Lily's hair however, smelled like flowers.

The two friends were relaxed under a birch tree laughing. Lily was peering into one of the hundreds of books she had already snatched from Severus' bookshelf.

"But this is wonderful Severus! According to the list of subjects taught at Hogwarts, I'll never have to suffer through another dreary arithmetic class again!"

Severus grinned although having no idea what Arithmetic was, "Yeah no more muggle school from here on."

Lily's eyes met his, "What subjects do you like? I think History of Magic sounds fascinating. Flying lessons look cool too. I can't wait to soar through the sky on my broomstick! Where do the broomsticks come from anyway?"

Severus smirked, "Well typically they come from Hogsmeade… it's sort of like a muggle mall if you will."

Lily's face fell. "But Severus, I don't have any money! I've got about twenty five cents in my piggy bank and that barely buys me a gumball!"

After spending almost being friends for a month, Severus had grown used to words such as "gumball" and "arithmetic". He learned it was better to just smile and nod than it was to irritate her with unimportant questions. He smiled at her.

"Don't worry Lily. If your parents can't afford it, Hogwarts generally has a fund for students who need to buy books and other essentials. Your school items may be second-hand like mine."

Lily shrugged, "I'm used to second hand. All my clothing is second-hand. I really wish Petunia would stop wearing pink so often."

"I'm not even sure where my clothing comes from. Usually it just appears in my drawers." Severus said.

Lily looked at him and seemed to decide not to say anything at all. She had heard stories about Eileen Snape and was almost too scared to ever ask about his mother again. She got to her feet and stretched her arms in the air.

"Let's do some of it then!"

Severus blinked, "Some what?"

"Magic of course, silly. I want to learn more before I go to Hogwarts."

Severus hesitated, "Lily I don't want to burst your bubble but we can't."

Lily pulled him to his feet. "Of course we can! It's only noon, I don't have to be home for hours!"

Severus shook his head. "I mean we can't because we aren't allowed."

"Huh?"

"Yeah…" Severus said softly, "we've got to start being careful. We're underage, and we're not supposed to do magic outside of Hogwarts. If we do, we get punished by the Ministry."

Lily looked horrified.

"No! It's alright it's really alright!" Severus assured her.

"No it's not; I've done miles of magic over the past week!"

Severus frowned. "Well lay off a bit. The Ministry is lenient with kids like us, most of the time we can't help it, but we ought to start trying to control it. After all, there's only seventeen days left before Hogwarts."

"I still haven't gotten a letter yet." Lily informed him.

"Nor have I. But my Mum says it'll be another week or so. Don't worry Lily, The letters are coming. They're real for us."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Lily asked. Severus looked surprised.

"Sure go for it."

"I think Petunia suspects something. She's been acting rather strange these days. She is always following me around everywhere."

"I –" He paused and glanced over his shoulder. He looked back at Lily and lowered his voice, "I think you're right."

SNAP! Petunia fell forward revealing herself, her were arms spread-eagled given that she had lost her balance.

"Tuney!!!" Lily shrieked rushing over to her sister's side. With a helping hand from her sister, Petunia was pulled to her feet. She was trying to hide her face. She was crying. Lily spun around suddenly fierce and wild.

"Did you do this to her?"

Severus choked, "No, of course I didn't… I mean I wouldn't…"

Petunia was angry and her control returned to her, "He's lying. I can't believe you'd be friends with such a… such a… LOSER!" With the word suspended silently in their minds, Petunia ran away. Lily looked hard at him.

"I don't believe you!" She shouted as she stuck her tongue out at him. Her green eyes were gleaming with tears. She rounded and chased after her sister calling her name out. Even as she ran off tear struck in the distance, Severus caught her stealing fleeting looks back at him.

He wouldn't dare chase after her. Those eyes she had… they weren't like her regular green eyes. Her emerald eyes always seemed to have a window to a whole new world had never seen before. Sometimes he would look into them and see a blossoming garden, the end of a monsoon, or even erupting fireworks. Just now, he had seen an inferno in those wonderful eyes of hers. He could see so many worlds in Lily's eyes, and yet, he felt he was the only one that could. After more than a month, Severus sometimes thought he knew everything there was to know about this muggle-girl. But he was mistaken each time his black eyes found hers. It was a discouraging thought… knowing that there was much more to her than he already knew. He wanted to be everything to her, especially a good friend. Severus lost himself in the distance in his mix of confusion, sadness, and painful guilt.

All he wondered was: Does she think I'm a loser too?

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A/N: I know you're catching a tid bit of DH references in the chapters because I didn't want to completely rearrange the basics of the plot, but I did make some changes to it as you've probably noticed. The story is going to evolve a whole lot more in these next few chapters!!!


	6. Mind Games

**Chapter VI – Mind Games**

**Disclaimer:**** I am not JK Rowling. JK Rowling I am not. I am not her immediate family, distant family, unknown family, or her publisher, editor, or associate. I am a fan of her writing and I have used her characters to create this story which was imagined by me. However, I will not ever in my lifetime own or control the Harry Potter series. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer! **

For seven days Severus did not return to Lily Evans; in fact, for seven whole days Severus was absent from the muggle life and his fascination in their simplicities. He was not entirely present anywhere. He certainly possessed a body that embodied space and a mind tormented with thoughts, feelings and speculations but his existence was not authentic at this time. He breathed, he took a meal in his room time to time but he did not think. He did not want to think. She would be the only thing he could think about. His first friend – what a fool! He could not think about failing her, failing himself and so, he pushed her from his mind.

Severus poured over books. In all his eleven years, Severus could not recall a time he had spent so long a period in his own home. He could hear the shattering of glass and the screams beneath him but he trapped himself as a hermit in his room. He could not remember the last time he had bathed, the last time he had brushed his teeth. He did not care; finishing this book was all that mattered.

He was on page 97 of _The Practicalities of the Dark Arts_ and he had about 300 pages to go before he progressed to _Wandless Magic _by Stacottus Stormrush. On his floor laid a pile of those he intended to read and a shorter stack of those he had completed.

Friends or no friends he had one thing that would never leave him, _ambition_. He wanted to be strong and he never wanted to be owned again, never touched, and never dominated. He hated feeling like a scrawny and timid boy, he hated being powerless. Although certain folk might prefer the strong muscles and the puffy chest, Severus was pulled to a different sort of power. He wanted to be magically incontestable. With a wand in his hand how could anyone throw him up against a wall with all their might? How could someone touch him? How could anyone knock the wind out of him? Most importantly of all, how could they torment someone he loved before his eyes?

Magic was more than might and brute strength. There was certainly a physical aspect but it was just as equally a test of the strength of mind. To unify the nimbleness and swiftness of the body with the complexity and chaos of the mind was what made Severus so appreciative of the gift his mother had left to him. He would not waste it. Friendship was nice but an escape route was what he needed. It would take intense discipline to overcome this life and leave it unharmed but he had never been more _determined_.

PLOCK!

Surely his sleep deprived mind having a laugh; he continued to read: _It is widely considered immoral to practice the Imperius curse and is therefore illegal. It is easy to understand why it has been made so. It is quite terrifying for one to imagine being forced to obey…_

PLOCK!

…_every command and action given. As wizards we are each granted a mind as to which to develop our own opinions and beliefs. However it is just that that allows each of us to become flawed and vulnerable. We are constantly morphed and shaped by new ideas, and outside forces and circumstances. To allow one's mind to be mental clay is what makes one susceptible to the Imperius curse. It is the weak mind that will succumb to being shaped and warped as it will to becoming dominated…_

PLOCK! PLOCK! PLOCK!

_Defensive advice against this curse suggests strong will, strong character, and strong mentality of the mind. Therefore, if one is able to keep his mind his own and not a plaything to others it will provide a formidable perhaps impossible defense to this magic. It is here I must question why we have renounced this type of magic when the true prey to it is wizards who lack discipline of their own minds. Is it worth it to protect those so weak and foolish?_

PLOCK!

Severus drew away from the text momentarily. PLOCK!

He set the book aside and finally rose to his feet conclusive that he would not quite be able to discipline his imagination tonight. He approached his window wistfully. Try as he might to block out perhaps the shortest friendship in history, his mind obviously had other intentions. He looked down and was staggered. The mind could not be this cruel.

There she stood, as real and feasible as ever. He could not believe it. He refused. He had not slept in days and she simply couldn't be real.

"Severus…" Her voice was soft and pleading. Would his ears play tricks on him too?

"Come on Severus I need to talk to you…" She whined.

Severus truly wanted to conquer hallucinations, illusions and fantasies before he was twelve but human temptation defeated him this time and he cursed himself silently as he answered back weakly, "Lily?"

"Oh Sev!" She was smiling now, "Please come down and talk to me!"

He was still transfixed by the realism of this moment. He found himself asking stupidly, "Are you even real?"

Lily gave him a long look. "Um, I think so. Would you please come down now?"

It was all he could take whether she was genuine or counterfeit. He touched his fingers to his face knowing he looked ghastly but it did not matter at the moment. She was here, somehow tonight she was here. He quietly left his quarters and hurried down and quite nearly threw the front door open. Tobias grunted in his sleep.

There was a flash and she was his. She threw herself onto him in a tight hug and he could no longer question the existence of this moment. It was real. Lily Evans had come to him and she was… hugging him.

…somehow… he didn't know what to do.

Severus stood there idiotically until Lily released him and she looked relieved. "I was here for a long time! I was getting worried you'd never answer me!"

He backed away, "I'm… sorry."

"No, it's alright. Things have been quite a mess. I think we need to chat. Can we sit?"

Her words were kinder than anything he ever expected to hear. He had never expected Lily Evans to speak to him again, nor did he ever expect anyone to speak to him in such a sweet way. It was overwhelming to him. He did not deserve whatever her change of heart was. He was quite accustomed to being ignored and hated without reservation. He was in a different place now. Was it possible that Lily Evans had forgiven him? He still did not feel deserving but his heart was growing lighter at the prospect.

They sat on a rotting log in the yard and there was a long and extremely uncomfortable moment where neither of them said anything. He studied Lily and she still was as brilliant and interesting as ever. Her hair was free and her eyes were as wide and curious as he remembered. She was the first to speak.

"I've… I've gotten my letter. The letter from Hogwarts." She sounded unsure and timid this time.

"You have?"

She nodded. "I have. And they sent someone… from the school to talk with Mommy and Daddy," she gulped, "to explain it all."

Severus nodded. "I told you they'd do that."

But Lily's eyes were glistening now. "It's all true then. All of it. And this is really going to happen for me."

Severus thought for a long moment before speaking. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know and that's why I feel so _BAD_!"

"You…"

She interrupted him, "I don't know what happened. I don't want to think about it right now. All I've realized is that you've been nothing but nice to me and I can't believe what I've done! I'm sorry!"

It wasn't true then. Lily Evans hadn't forgiven him. Lily believed that it was _her _fault.

"Lily…"

"Please Sev… can we just forget about this whole thing? I want to be friends. I don't want to be mad anymore."

It was the most astonishing and thing to hear. Lily waited and when he failed to answer she continued to talk, "Severus, you've got to understand. Tuney is my sister and I love her. Something made her sad… and I didn't know what to do. I yelled at you because she blamed you. I'm a terrible person."

"No."

Lily looked crestfallen, "You don't forgive me?"

He explained, "No you're not a terrible person."

"How could you say that?"

He took a long breath, "You're a wonderful person and you've very nice. I… I missed you very much."

Lily smiled and threw her arms around his neck, "I missed you too Sev!"

When she had let go it seemed as though she had relinquished her inhibitions for the night. She spoke with more spirit, "Oh Severus! Hogwarts! Just think!"

He chuckled, "Told you so!"

"You did!"

"When are you getting your school supplies? Your textbooks and all?"

Lily beamed, "Soon! I told my Mommy about you and she wanted me to invite you and your mother if she'll come."

His relief was gone again. "You've told your mother about me?"

"Yup!" Lily explained, "and she can't wait to meet you! They are all so excited about me being a witch! They think it's brilliant! Well… except for Tuney…"

"What's got Petunia?"

She didn't ask how Severus knew her real name. "I'm not sure. I think she might be a bit upset I won't be along with her for Middle School. We were to have the same teacher Ms. Hangolett you see, and now it's impossible."

"Well she'll make loads of other friends," Severus dismissed, "school surrounds you with so many varieties of people she'll be able to handpick a great crowd for herself."

Lily frowned, "I don't think that's the problem."

"Listen Lily," he said, "Write to her. Send her letters and don't let her forget that you love her like the way you've said. She'll forgive you for coming. This is the opportunity for greatness and it's your best path."

Lily smiled again, "I know Sev but it's just hard you know? To think of leaving this behind… just weeks ago I wasn't sure what kind of kid I was. I didn't really care about the things other kids did. And now there's all of this! Somewhere I think I'll finally make sense of it all and find something I love."

Severus nodded, "You will."

"So what do you say? Will you come with Mommy and me? Please?"

And about a week later Severus still didn't remember whether he had answered "yes" to her. However, he must have responded somehow because he had managed to land himself into the most awkward social situation of his life. Not that he had too many to count in the first place.

Lily, Severus, and Mrs. Evans were all completely captivated by Diagon Alley. This was after all, their first real look into the wizarding world, even for Severus. Severus did get to see the moving pictures in the Daily Prophet, and see a rare bit of spell work from his mum time to time but it was surreal to see all the magical manifestations in the shop windows. Enchanted mirrors! Broomsticks! Cauldrons! Cloaks! Each of them was captured in a very exciting adventure. Severus' mother was apathetic to the entire outing and the Hogwarts representative was just as plain. They had of course been here countless times but Severus couldn't ever imagine something so extraordinary becoming mundane and boring. He hoped it wouldn't.

"How about wands first don't you think?" The Hogwarts representative guided them towards a smaller shop with little on display. An oval shaped sign read: Ollivander's: Makers of Fine Wands Since 382 BC. _Impressive_. They all crowded to enter at once but Severus was first to step inside. He was a bit surprised at how desolate this place was. He had read numerous times that Ollivander was one of the premiere wand makers of the wizarding world. Why was it so barren?

A frail man approached them. "Wands?" They nodded.

He grinned, and moved towards a shelf. "I remember every wand I've ever sold. And I'll remember yours. Who are you then?"

"I'm Lily Evans, Mister Ollivander." She spoke with such grace and assurance that he was ashamed to feel so shy.

"This is my friend Severus!"

Well so much for memorable introductions…

"Alright then, Lily and Severus here you are – a wand for you each."

Severus held the piece of wood in his hand. "That's it?" He had expected much more from wand selection.

"Of course that's not it!" He snatched the wands out of their hands and gave each of them a new one. "Go on, wave them around a bit! Go wild!"

Lily again proceeded to act before he did. Something in the background fell with a large thud. He took it from her hand. "No, no never mind not that one."

He had no idea what this man was seeking when he tried quite unsuccessfully to perform a simple charm. Perhaps there was more work to wielding a wand than he had realized. Ollivander seized the sand colored wand from his grasp and handed him something that felt much sturdier in his hand and somehow stronger. He felt warm as he held it in his hand.

"Mmmm yes I think we've found it. Severus do try that spell again for me." he muttered.

Severus nodded and spoke it for the first time, "Protego."

He did not know what had happened but Ollivander looked intrigued. "Well I think it's safe to say we've found your match! 13 ½ inches, Black Walnut, Dragon Heartstring! Perfect match! Is this your first wand? I know you've been no customer of mine!"

"It's my first wand." Severus said slightly embarrassed.

"Then you're gifted my boy! You've impressed me! I trust you'll continue to impress many at Hogwarts!"

Severus could not think of anything to say so he said nothing.

"Ah, Lily! I must help you!" Ollivander was at her side offering her another wand. She was looking slightly panic stricken.

"Sir," she said as she took the wand in her hand and Ollivander shortly had it back, "I don't think I've informed you. I've never used a wand before. I'm a muggle-born wizard."

"Poppycock." Ollivander dismissed handing her a medium sized brown and glazed wand, "it makes no difference here I promise you."

She looked doubtful until she closed her hand around this wand and then she was different in her expression. With a soft flick of her wrist she sent one of poor Ollivander's shelves toppling to the ground.

"No!" She gasped.

"Well done Lily! Excellent we've found your match too! 10 ¼ inches, Willow with Unicorn Tail Hair! You have the talent to do this wand justice too – you'll see."

"T-thank you." She stammered clutching the wand in her hand. Severus was a bit ashamed that he wasn't acting more enthusiastic, considering he had been counting down the days until he could finally get his wand. Ollivander however seemed to feel that everyone was quite satisfied. The adults quietly paid the man and thanked him for his time. They left the shop and the excitement began only as they entered the cobbled street once more.

"I've got a wand! I've got a wand! Mommy!" Lily was bouncing.

Severus' mother eyed him quietly making it clear that she would tolerate no such reaction from him which was fine because he had no intent to give it.

"What's next? School robes I think?"

It turning into the most exciting day either of them had experienced. Severus had gotten himself an owl named Lear and Lily had gazed sadly at an owl called Willow. Lear was not the friendliest pet, as he had already nearly cleaned off several fingertips. He was quite fond of gnawing on his talons.

Cloaks and robes were thoroughly second hand. Severus' were long, too long and the fabric was thinning in places. Lily was lucky to retrieve a second-hand robe that looked like new. She was beaming. By the time they had left Flourish and Blotts with a short mountain of textbooks, they were all ravished and ready to end the day when Lily spied a corner shop.

"Ice-cream! Ice-cream! Can we get some?"

"Now Lily," Mrs. Evans looked quite embarrassed, "you know plenty well that we haven't got any wizarding money. We just can't…"

"Let's go." Severus said surprising everyone. His own mother looked shocked. He shrugged. "I've got some spare pocket gold. Lily and I could share."

Lily was overjoyed. "Yay!"

He hadn't been planning on doing it but Lily's anticipation was enough to keep Severus from regretting his decision to abandon the little pocket money he had come to know. Florean Fortescue welcomed them each with a chilly breeze. In the center of the room was a long wooden bar levitating in midair. Serving spoons of every size were flying chaotically in all directions. The back of the shop was crowded with high tables and chairs filled with young customers who were chattering with such noise it was impossible to hear anything else. Beside them was what looked like a waterfall of hot fudge and a tree of candied cherries. There was a mini cyclone of sprinkles that spiraled non-stop about the store. There were several house elves running back and forth with assorted sweets: Bertie Botts Jelly Beans, chocolate frogs, exploding bonbons, sherbet balls, pumpkin pasties, and many other things Severus couldn't recognize. A satisfied looking man stood among the pandemonium. He looked at them and smiled.

"Having an icecream today kids? Take your time, every flavor is in stock!"

Lily was confused. "I don't understand. Where's the menu?"

An elf appeared at the man's side. Mrs. Evans gasped. "Master Florean, Melissa Flatts would like a Quaffle-sized Sundae with Honeysuckle icecream and Bubblegum fudge sauce topped with Cockroach Clusters!" The man nodded and waved his wand lazily. The hot fudge waterfall instantly turned pink and an appropriate sized bowl came soaring forward filling itself with yellow colored icecream.

Lily looked disturbed. "Cockroach…"

"Clusters, yes!" The storekeeper spoke excitedly, "We also have Cockroach icecream and of course cockroach fudge sauce!"

"Um… no thank you." She clung to Severus' arm.

Mrs. Evans looked slightly less offended and turned to her daughter. "Lily, many countries throughout the world eat insects and consider it good eating."

"Not me." Lily looked sick as the perfectly fixed sundae soared towards a round faced girl. She looked at Severus, "you order something."

Unsure of what to do, he spoke timidly, "Uh I'll have some of the Sugar Cane icecream, with hot fudge and caramel, and some broken Cauldron Cakes on top. About the size of a Puffapod."

The store began to fulfill his demands at once. Lily smiled and asked him what a Puffapod was while Mrs. Evans stared at the little Elves who were breaking apart little black cakes with their fingers. The waterfall began pouring chocolate again. Severus had no idea what to expect. He never had any sweets but he knew Lily liked sugar. Somehow he was certain she wouldn't have shared a Zucchini and applesauce sundae with him.

"There!" Mr. Florean had finished their order. "It'll be six Sickles my boy."

Severus handed Mr. Florean what was most of his money and found a seat with Lily away from Melissa Flatts who was eating her sundae quite noisily.

"It really has everything doesn't it?" Lily asked him dreamily. She dipped her spoon into the sundae and tasted it. "Hey this is good!"

Severus smiled and lowered his voice, "Yeah it does. You could ask them for icecream that tastes like mothballs and they'd have it. But don't."

Lily laughed, "I won't! Sev did you see that Quidditch shop? I want a broomstick so bad! I want to fly!"

"What is Quidditch?" Mrs. Evans asked taking a seat beside her daughter.

"Sev said it's a Wizard sport!" Lily said excitedly.

"It's played on broomstick," Severus said as he helped himself to a bit of the sundae. Lily had already left a huge dent in it. "There's two teams and the players score with the Quaffle, the blunders are kind of an impact obstacle, and the golden snitch is caught by the seeker which ends the game and usually wins it."

"Is there Quidditch at Hogwarts?" Lily asked.

"Of course!" The representative answered for Severus who was trying to wipe some chocolate dribble off his own chin, "Each of the four houses establishes a well-ranked Quidditch team. I do expect Hufflepuff will take the cup this year."

Severus smirked, "Not a chance."

After about twenty minutes, the sundae was thoroughly finished and it was finally time to go home yet no one wanted to leave. Severus and Lily couldn't help running into Gambol and Japes and browsing through the shelves filled with equipment for every prank they could dream up. Severus wanted the entire stock of Stupid Powder which was used on students to give the wielder a leg-up in class performance. Lily was mesmerized by the glowing moon rocks she found for sale.

"Look Mommy! They're supposed to grant you a wish!"

"There's a reason it's in a joke shop." Severus scoffed.

Lily frowned, "You're just being a butthead."

They left the store empty handed as they both knew they would and returned to Lily's house. Eileen Prince went home and the Hogwarts representative vanished quite abruptly after reminding them to be at the King's Cross Station on September 1st at 11 AM. Severus and Lily were sharing happy memories of the day when they were rudely interrupted.

"Did you get all the… magic stuff?" Petunia spoke to them from considerable distance.

"Yes Tuney! You've got no idea, Diagon Alley is the most amazing place. I wish you could've come to see! We got this incredible icecream from Florean Fortescue!"

Petunia's little forced smile was not fooling Severus. She was purposely looking away from him. "Did you get a wand?"

Lily waved it happily, "I did! It's so cool! I don't know how to use it yet. Tuney! How was your day?"

Petunia looked mysterious. "It was… OK. Do you want to play some dolls with me?"

Lily's face fell, "Severus and I were going to feed Lear now. He got an owl Tuney!"

Lear gave a loud squawk.

"Yes… well… see you then." Petunia ran upstairs.

Lily remarked, "I think she's being very strange."

"Yes well… what do you think we should feed it?" Severus did not want to contemplate Petunia's recent decision to isolate herself. He pointed his new wand at the empty water dish.

"Aguamenti." The dish filled itself. Lily had taken Lear out of his cage and was petting his head. The owl was being quite obedient with her. It was incredible. He was sure he had lost her forever, certain she'd never be sitting next to him like she was now. There was something about friendship that made Severus certain that Hogwarts would be the best time of his life. He had never had company like this. It wasn't the same as secretly watching muggle families, or cooping himself up in a room with piles of books to study. Being in the presence of someone who was eager to be with him was all he thought he needed. He looked at her as she fed Lear a grasshopper and smiled.

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A/N: _Hi! It's been an incredibly long time without an update but I've returned with a long one! It's been a difficult decision with this piece of writing because I know how painfully long it's going to be and how much effort I'm going to have to put into its completion :(_

_A bit of back-story about this chapter… there's actually quite a lot of me in the beginning parts. Severus' perspective was drawn from a lot of my own experiences and philosophies. I've definitely had the experience of locking myself in a room and working on something so hard to push my mind away from other thing that have bothered me. Much more than that, I got very personally involved in the writing of this chapter so I hope everyone enjoyed it! I put quite a bit of imagination into the journey to Diagon Alley and I hope my readers were satisfied with it. Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you thought!_


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